I often remember feeling like I couldn’t relate to my peers and that my soul was out of place with its time, but one day I came home, and I saw this beautiful blonde-headed school girl, wearing this trendy high-pleated skirt, morph into Sailor Moon. She used the power of the moon to rein terror on those who wished to destroy the earth. It felt like a sign. I felt like I was meant to find the moon in every aspect of my life, and in my childhood, it was Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) along with the pretty guardians of the galaxy.
Looking back at Usagi, she was quite the awkward girl. She didn’t have many friends, and she was always expected to leave behind a trail of mistakes. She didn’t understand her own power, and those around her either tried to get her to expedite her strength or they invested little trust in her. However, the moon was the most powerful amongst them. Shouldn’t that kind of magic take time to harvest?
Like Sailor Moon, I felt this burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. I knew I was different, and I was more intuitive than what met their eye. I eventually had to find my strength in the darkness of the night, the constellation of the stars, and the eclipses of the moon. Most people would think the darkness is lonely, and it is if you don’t understand why it was placed on you, but I’m figuring it out. The power I can manifest solely comes from within and the power of my femininity, and it would be impossible to tap into it if my outside environment was louder than my own voice.
It’s no secret that us queer folk are beyond magical. We break the molds and do it unapologetically. There is no limit to who we are and who we can become. Feminine energy lies within us all and what’s more feminine than the energy that lies in the moon. There was a point before we were working 9 to 5 and artificial light even existed, that we were in sync with the divine energy of the moon. Though times have progressed, and we rely on technology a great deal, my circadian clock has always been set with that of the moon. I often watched it make its appearance along with the constellations I never could understand, but I knew that the moon was my guide.
As children we constantly look for ways to feel seen, to feel like we belong. But honestly, I don’t think I ever sought that. I knew that I was set apart for a reason and I still don’t fully understand the why, but I don’t look for meaning anymore. I look to the goddesses, Orishas, and the divine energy of the moon. Sailor Moon taught me that there is power and humility in darkness, that I define the person that I am destined to be. So when you see me just know that I have the moon and the pretty guardians of the galaxy on my side, and in the name of the moon, I will love you or punish you, whichever you prefer.