by Erica Rains | photo courtesy Tristan Lowe
Kids are becoming more comfortable with who they are and coming out at younger ages, which is a wonderful step forward. Unfortunately, not all of these teens are being accepted and, in an alarming number of cases, are actually being kicked out. True You Tennessee, a new outreach program in its beginning stages, will provide resources, care packages and a safe, nurturing home environment where youth can heal themselves…while being themselves.
Stephanie Lowe, founder of this new nonprofit, says that the organization will also help reduce the number of suicides in the LGBTQ community and help youth as they age out of the system to transition into adulthood. LGBTQ youth make up as much as 10% of that population segment but account for 40% of the homeless youth community. “The numbers are insanely disproportionate,” says Lowe.
“Once a teen lands on the streets, statistically, we have 72 hours before they are willing to participate in “survival sex” to meet basic needs such as food or housing. In fact, 20% of all homeless youth interviewed were victims of human trafficking,” she adds.
Lowe says stats aren’t much better in foster homes. Seventy-eight percent report further abuse in those foster homes that are supposed to be their safe havens. “Foster parents get roughly $30 a day per child they take. If they are taking kids for the wrong reason, i.e. money, there is nothing to prevent them from abusing those kids.”
Working with the community
This is where True You TN comes in. Lowe and her board of directors are working on the paperwork and looking for a home, preferably in Rutherford County. She said it would help to be available in more rural areas where there is even less help.
They are actively pursuing relationships with church communities, counselors, safe advocates and others passionate about helping this youth demographic to be safer, off the streets, and have access to resources and support systems that allow them to be “True You”.
Another hurdle for Lowe lies in recent state legislation called the Family First Prevention Services Act, in which funding is being cut for new homes like the one she plans to open. The idea is that keeping kids with families is better, but sadly, in the case of young people coming out, those families don’t always allow them to stay.
The good news is that the state does recognize that this specific youth segment needs help and according to Lowe, is “super supportive.” She has had conversations with the state and she will be licensed through them. When all is said and done, the state will have the option and ability to move kids to the True You TN home. “We are going on an ‘if we build it, they will come’ theory,” says Lowe.
But the help won’t stop there. The non-profit has future plans to add a transitional house for kids that have aged out of the system. Those young adults still have an uphill battle, with 20% of them becoming homeless almost immediately. “When you are 22 years old, you still need a family. We can be that family.”
More than just housing
They won’t limit the help to youth already experiencing homelessness. They will also be a resource for youth considering coming out or those who have already come out and are having issues at home. She hopes that they will be able to work hand in hand with other organizations like PFLAG and GSAs (gay-straight alliances) in local schools to provide resources and options. In addition to their current board of established community members, they also plan to develop a junior board in Rutherford and surrounding counties.
Lowe and her wife learned of the need for such an organization when they attempted to adopt a child. “The state needed foster homes and adopters like us, because they had so many LGBTQ children in the system and that they were having a hard time finding foster homes for those children because so many of the homes in this area refused LGBTQ children. I was shocked.”
Personal experience sparks the movement
Although Lowe was not a child when her own family turned their back on her, she knows the trauma of feeling alone at such a crucial time. “My family stopped speaking to me the day that it happened. That was January 14. It was a cold Friday night. I sat in my car begging my mother to keep loving me. It was one of the most traumatic days of my life.”
She said she could not even imagine what a young person must feel, depending on their homes for basic needs and survival. She wondered, “How does a 13-year-old handle being disowned? How do they survive this pain?” That’s when she stepped up to open what will be the first only group home specifically for LGBTQ youth in the Southeast.
With one in three LGBTQ homeless youth admitting that they have ‘seriously considered suicide’, the need is dire, and True You TN will be looking for help in different arenas. Lowe said land donations, contractor services and many other needs will be sought after, as they will be self-funded. Fundraising events and efforts will begin soon to create the capital necessary to complete the project.
If you or anyone you know may be interested in helping in any way, email her directly at stephanie@trueyoutn.org or message them on Twitter and Instagram @TrueyouTN. On Facebook, they can be found at TrueYouTennessee. Youth interested in being part of the junior board should also send a message.
While the existence
of this problem is
heartbreaking, True You
TN will address the basic
human right to be yourself,
be happy and be healthy.
Lowe adds, “What if we
empower young people
to be true to themselves?
What if we allow them to be
honest? What if we show
them love, no matter what?
Think of the years we can
save, years of them being
productive, passionate,
healthy people in a society
instead of the broken people
they come to us as. Think of
all we can do for them if we
say it’s ok to be True You.”
If you or anyone you know may be interested in helping in any way, email her directly at stephanie@trueyoutn.org or message them on Twitter and Instagram @TrueyouTN. On Facebook, they can be found at TrueYouTennessee. Youth interested in being part of the junior board should also send a message.
While the existence of this problem is heartbreaking, True You TN will address the basic human right to be yourself, be happy and be healthy.
Lowe adds, “What if we empower young people to be true to themselves? What if we allow them to be honest? What if we show them love no matter what? Think of the years we can save, years of them being productive, passionate, healthy people in a society instead of the broken people they come to us as. Think of all we can do for them if we say it’s ok to be True You.”
